Two words: Deeply Unsatisfying.
Raymond Carver wrote a book of short stories called What We Talk About When We Talk About Love. It’s a haunting and aching kind of book, where the surface material distinctly presented to the audience (i.e. the text) tells only a fraction of the story. It is truly beautiful. A few years later he wrote a second short story anthology called Cathedral which took most of the stories from WWTAWWTAL and “fleshed” them out so that they were explicit. Fucked the whole thing up.
Anyway. The original movie was a pure money-spinning Holywood Blockbuster based off a Disney ride that had no pretensions to class, grandeur, or anything more than being 2 hours of fun. They got that 100% right. I’d be completely comfortable saying that in that class of movie, it’s one of the best ever. There are other movies I like more, don’t get me wrong, but for a Jerry Bruckheimer movie, the original Pirates was as good as you get.
In Pirates 2 & 3 it seemed to me like they developed ideas above their station and tried to blow away the audience by exceeding all expectations in ever frame of film, and they failed miserably. Instead there are a lot of pointless and interminable action scenes, patchy characters and an epic-scale plot totally outside the purview of anything legitimately described as “an enjoyable romp.” At turns too silly, too serious, too loud and always too long… I found Pirates 2 & 3 to have failed on virtually every level.
As I think I said after King Kong… you come away from these movies realizing that there aren’t any flaws grevious enough to consign them to the echelons of The Hulk, but they’re not movies you’ll ever want to watch again, let alone endlessly reinvestigate with your friends the way we tend to revisit The Matrix, Star Wars, The Princess Bride and others.
 The Dom Post reviewer must have been stoned.